Average Reviews:
(More customer reviews)Keck's latest book, Parenting Adopted Adolescents, is a thoroughly enjoyable read - conversational in tone, filled with practical advice, and humorous without being flip. The tack Keck takes is there in the title subtext: appreciation. It serves us parents well to check in on that emotion and value. Through our appreciation of our adolescent children in all that they are, we become better parents and they closer to achieving their best.
The book is organized around some very basic concepts. Beginning with normative developmental stages, moving through the core issues of adoption, trans -racial and -cultural issues, attachment, sexuality, therapeutic interventions and more, Keck addresses virtually every subject that parents negotiate on a daily basis.
The format is one I appreciate when reading any "help" book. Clinical information and analysis is followed by case examples that bring to life the points the author is making. As I read, I could see my family and myself in the stories - both optimal and hopelessly futile - and gained a sense that we all are muddling through this journey together. Sure we make mistakes, but they can be ameliorated with time, patience, understanding and acceptance.
Both logic and the obvious memory of once being an adolescent shape the very practical advice given throughout the book. Some of which I've actually used and seen work! Among some of the gems are the following:
*That although much of an adolescent's behavior is intentional, i.e. he meant to do it, the consequences and resultant adult feelings are NOT the intent. "When adopted adolescents reject others, their intention is usually not to cause hurt but to avoid being rejected themselves."
*Lighten up on the myriad ways adolescents try to express their individuality and find their way. "Adults typically talk about peer pressure only when discussing negative[s]... It is rare to accuse an honor student of studying so hard just because his friends do."
*"When parents believe that a single magical strategy will resolve all psychological or behavioral problems, they tend to rely on the strategy as opposed to relying on the relationship with their child."
*Try talking to your child(ren) the way you do people who are not in your family and see what the result is. Conversely, and perhaps more risky, try talking to your colleagues the way you talk to your adolescent and observe the result. Hmmm...
* And finally... Avoid control battles at all costs
*Win the ones you take on
*Pick and choose your battles carefully
The various challenges that adolescents can throw our way are described not as problems, but as expected and predictable developmental stages. In this way the reader is able to normalize what may be feeling like a completely out-of-control existence. For example, when referring to the "honeymoon period" that all adoptive parents know about, Keck draws a comparison to a new employee being on her best behavior at the job before settling in and becoming comfortable. It is a refreshing break from much of the writing out there about adopted children and adolescents that talks about pathology, projected outcomes, and warning signs. While these are important issues, not to be lightly dismissed, it is wise to start at a place of strength, hope and normalcy.
Kim Stevens, Project Manager, North American Council on Adoptable Children
Click Here to see more reviews about: Parenting Adopted Adolescents: Understanding and Appreciating Their Journeys
In his newest release, Dr. Gregory C. Keck offers new insights and parenting strategies relative to adolescents, especially adopted adolescents. Parents will find humor and relief as they realize their role in their child's journey in
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